For me, it was words like worthy, deserve, success, provider, and too many to list here. They impacted how I approached my studies, dating, and friendships.
Then later, those words impacted my marriage, my relationship with God, my work ethic, and how I showed up as a dad.
If I were to put those words in a sentence, it might look something like, “I have to be worthy so I can deserve success and be a good provider.”
It doesn’t sound super bad… until you realize how I was defining each key word.
Try this, “I have to be perfect so I can earn through my own efforts constant praise and recognition that lets me give more money and comforts than other husbands and dads.”
That’s messed up, right?
(Maybe you know a guy who has a friend that abuses definitions like this).
But I made it work.
Church on Sunday? Check.
Married to a beautiful bride? Done.
High paying job? With ease.
C-level title? Nailed it.
Sometimes, what’s shiny on the outside is broken on the inside.
And sometimes, it’s easier to keep polishing that shine than it is to fix what’s broken.
Then one day, my self-destruction got so bad my wife headed for the door.
Time froze. And I had to make a choice.
I made an incredibly difficult choice and asked for help.
Phew, disaster averted and everything’s been perfect since, right? Not even close.
For the next 3.5 years I had to keep choosing to do what was best over was easy, or what would just make me look shiny on the outside.
But I wasn’t alone.
My wife chose to join the journey. And I surrounded myself with others who wanted to be better.
Then one night I was in a group coaching session. I dipped into what I knew about business to help explain a marriage and family concept to someone in the group.
He caught on FAST, like *ding* the light turned on.
I did it again the next week, then again, and again.
Then I realized I wasn’t sharing business principles…
I was just sharing principles. And when something is true it can be applied universally as long as we know how to translate the ideas.
That realization sparked an idea…
What if I could use my years of education and experience in business to intentionally build a successful, strong family?
I started implementing these principles in my own family, and the results were incredible.
I went from late nights at the office to avoid the dread of what was waiting at home, to working from home so I can be around my family more.
I went from casually letting life pass by, to setting goals as a family, planning adventures together, and listening to what my kids really needed from me.
I went from a family by default, to intentionally building a strong family who faces challenges together in faith and hope
Since then, I’ve helped hundreds of entrepreneurs across the globe build the life they actually want with the family they deeply love.
What would your life look like if you stopped living by default?
What is possible for your family if you became more united and more focused on living the life God truly wants for you?
How would your life and the lives of your posterity improve if you could live by your values no matter how the world changes?
And, just like it did for me, it starts with one choice.
Forward with Joe provides coaching services to individuals committed to building a stronger family on purpose.